This following post puts forward some of the main ideas resulting from Spring Semester (2012) independent study discussions about the origins, mechanizations and practical functions of love. These discussions were held weekly, between Dr. Caitlin Mahoney and Cynthia Wold. The purpose of these discussions was to form a theory of love that could be a practical model for Cynthia’s theme of study, love, for her MA in Liberal Studies program. The excerpt below is taken from Cindy's final paper for the SDIS. By Cindy Wold, May 2012 ------------------------
"There are many ways that love has been put forward as a phenomenon in human life, and there are many sources of information about love, mostly from the perspective of love as a feeling. Because it is assumed that love is something everyone has experienced, and felt, love is often referenced as something good in our lives that we may want to increase, and that we can easily choose to increase our capacity to love. However, a quick Google search or a question posed to a random group of people often reveals an overarching perception of love as limited to what happens in sexual attraction or between family members, and as an “automatic” felt emotion. The cornerstone of my thinking and investigation of love, however, comes from Erich Fromm in his 1954 book, The Art of Loving (Fromm, 1954). In it, Fromm states that love is not just a sentiment or feeling that we may or may not be lucky enough to fall into, but it is an art that requires knowledge and effort. Fromm not only gives us a sense of love as an art, he also gives us four essential practices that he claims will increase our capacity to love. He sees this capacity as an essential ingredient in human happiness and thriving. The four practices are the following: 1. Discipline. What he means by this is disciplined self-care. This care should be something that we enjoy, but need to discipline ourselves to continue doing it even when inconvenient. He advocated a minimum of 20 minutes of meditation each morning and evening, regular sleeping and eating patterns and exercise patterns. This kind of discipline, he believed was one way to increase our capacity to love. 2. Concentration. What Fromm meant by concentration is the idea that we pay attention to what we are doing in the moment with a minimum of multi-tasking and distraction. Modern language would call it being present or “presencing.” Fromm was aware that many people in the “modern” world (his modern world, of course, was in the 50s) moved at a frantic pace and were often distracted from the things that were most important to them. Another aspect of concentration that Fromm spent a lot of time explaining was the idea of meaningful conversation. Fromm suggested that we avoid as much as possible what he called “trivial conversation.” That is, conversation that consisted of clichés and memorized talking points. In fact, he suggested not talking to people who engaged in that kind of triviality. But of course, sometimes we cannot avoid talking to certain people, so he suggested that when faced with triviality that instead of returning triviality in kind that we engage the person in discussing something meaningful. To him, conversation needn’t be about the most intimate details of our lives, but should reflect a genuine interest in something important to us and a sharing of our genuine thoughts about it. 3. Patience. Fromm included patience as a practice that was essential to increase one’s capacity to love. The idea that we are going to experience set-backs and failures as we exert effort to increase our capacity to love, the quality of patience and calm in the face of these is something Fromm thought essential. Patience also would encourage persistence in developing the art of loving. 4. Supreme Care. The last practice that Fromm wrote about in The Art of Loving was what he called Supreme Care. What he meant by this was one’s overarching desire to improve the capacity to love. Fromm thought that this intention itself would provide a necessary environment within which the other practices would be most likely to be useful and effective. " ------------ One of the outputs of our Semester long dialogue was the creation of a draft measure, the Love Practices Scale (Wold & Mahoney, 2012), which is anchored in Fromm's theory of love.
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DESCRIPTIONThis 'Blog' highlights varied research endeavors. Where noted, entries are written by my students, themselves.
AuthorCAITLIN O. MAHONEY, PhD. Categories
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